Anti-Bullying Power Phrases
Posted: January 27, 2017
Bully denfesne tactics is a big part of what we teach at Arrow Martial Arts. I wanted to share with you the concept behind our Bully Power Phrases. Specific phrases designed and backed by research and real world testing are important and far more effective than "wigning it" and saying our own things. In fact, we find students that say their own thoughts, tend to get in trouble or give the bully a built in defense when confronted by a teacher. We practice these phrases and more in each of our classes and I know our students have found them helpful. I hope you do as well.
1. The first power phrase is designed to show the bully you are not an easy target. One out of four children are victims of bullying. This person tends to be the easiest target. This phrase sounds something like "You can't hurt my feelings." It is our version of ignoring the bully as you never want to do nothing when bullied.
2. The second time you are bullied by this person we are going to try to steal their power. We use the phrase "Yeah, Ive heard that one before." This shows the bully they are not saying anyting we have not heard before and that we are not going to be bothered by it.
3. With the third power phrase we are taking a stand. Deflecting and using our self-esteem has not stopped this bully and now we need to be firm. This sounds like "Don't say that again!" It shows the bully we don't like it, it's not funny and stop it.
4. If this bully does not stop when we tell them to than we need to report it to a teacher, parent and the principal. This power phrase is meant to empower us in that discussion. We are going to say to them "Are you trying to make fun of me?" Of course we know the answer will usually be yes. Sometimes children don't realise they are being a bully though and this can be the first time they actual see what they are doing. If not it sets us up for success in our conversation with the teacher. Often times a teacher will suggest that there may be a misunderstanding. This takes care of that and puts you in position to tell them you were defintiely being bullied.
5. Often times the last stage will end the bullying for fear of getting in trouble. You also did not tattle since the bully was giving three chances prior to reporting them. If they do come back for more than this is a bully that is not going to listen to anyone. They did not listen to the child, the teacher, their parents who should have been notified or the principal. Now, we have to end the bullying somehow. The final phrase is "Are you saying you want to fight me?" This tells the bully how far you are willing to go to stop them and defend your rights to a safe learning environment. The bull can say "no", in which case we tell them to leave us alone, or they may say "yes". That means they were never going to stop unless they were made to stop and we will go into our physical bully defense training.
Now, with the final phrase if you don't have self-defense confidence it is tough to take that stand. We find that children and adults who lack confidence in their ability to defend themselves often won't stand up for themselves verbally.